• 14:37 Gay Talese: my new crush
  
  tinyurl.com/pcxcf4
  
  www.randomhouse.com/kvpa/talese/ #

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• 08:16 went to sleep at 8 last night.....who am I? #
• 09:13 @Proetsel because it's dangerously addicting. Glad to see you! #

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This is the TEST shipment you asked for

• 08:43 back at work after an awesome week in Maui. #
• 16:28 road tripping w/ audrey to hana! #
• 14:42 on the plane to hawaii!! yeehaw! #
• 09:50 RAIN?!? #
• 12:05 anyone have a recommendation for things to do on Maui? #
• 08:03 @kittygopounce a better building with a better roommate closer to the ranch and work. :) #
• 20:53 is getting paid in three hours! Hurrah for Thursdays! Also, I might be moving in July. #
• 11:42 @TheBloggess Jessica Alba. Ew. #
• 10:23 so much to catch up on after missing ONE day of work -- aye yi yi!! #
• 13:29 Fifth day in a row with a hangover. Where do I think I am, college? #
• 10:42 @rudecactus like ham, right? I've been saying it for years - coffee sometimes tastes like ham! #
• 17:49 I just realized that I've had Cheetos residue on my forehead for the past hour. At work. #
• 08:26 I just uploaded a photo and it's still not there. I give up, technology. You win. #
• 08:24 ow hangover. #
• 17:18 WEEKEND! #
• 12:29 observation: a nail salon on Friday at noon is like an episode of The Real Housewives of Burbank. #
• 11:21 "Kids" by MGMT makes me want to do the Robot. #
• 08:19 @xtianrod I had to find you somehow after you filed that restraining order. #
• 23:39 Perfect evening: clean room, glass of wine, Bea Arthur on TV wearing a velvet suit. Hurrah for the Golden Girls! #

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April 1st, 2005: 21 years old. Living at 403 Landfair Ave with Vanessa, Jie, and Laura. Taking classes, working as an Access Monitor. Generally being young and foolish.

April 1st, 2006: 22 years old. Recently returned from Barbados. Living on Bentley Avenue with Clark and Ryan. Taking my last quarter before I graduate from UCLA with a bachelor's degree in history. Working at OCH Dispatch at all hours of the night and day.

April 1st, 2007: 23 years old. Moving from downtown LA loft with friends Karen and Kevin to San Diego, in preparation for my move to London. Working at the ranch as a guide and office manager.

April 1st, 2008: 24 years old. Recently returned from London. Living in my parents' home in San Diego, preparing to enter a teaching credential program in Los Angeles the following fall. Taking a class on Political Science. Volunteering with two second-grade classes. Working as a tutor with Academic Advantage.

April 1st, 2009: 25 years old. Living in Hollywood with Randall (roommate). Working as executive assistant at Warner Bros. Also working as guide at the ranch. Own my horse, Scout. :)


One day, five years. It amazes me how much can change in a year.

Oh, HobNobs. how I miss you.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Watching SNL, it occurs to me that I am really disappointed that Neil Patrick Harris is gay.

Damnit, I woke up with a hangover so instead of spending the day riding with my friends I'm inside barely able to look at the computer screen. But because I'm not tired, I'll force myself to do it. Here are two things occupying my time today:

Cute things falling asleep <-- exactly what it sounds like.

Bart Bonte games <-- the games on the left are all by the same guy, and I've tried a few of them. Some of them are really fascinating (especially Factory Balls 2).

You're welcome.

So! It's a new year, and my livejournal has been woefully neglected o'er these many months. Don't know what happened, really, except that I've been ... busy. And then out of the habit of posting. Yeah.

There will be more to come later when I am not busy cuddling the friendliest cat on earth. We're pet-sitting for a while, and this cat....she is insane. She is not your average, "leave me alone, human" kind of cat. She loves people SO MUCH. She loves people with a violent, stalker kind of passion. All she wants is to be held, and if she is not being held, she will follow you around the room, throw herself at your feet, and nuzzle you until she makes herself such a nuisance that you HAVE to pick her up lest you trip and hit your head on your own kitchen counter. Her neediness makes me ashamed for all of cat-kind. She needs to turn in her cat card.

Anywho. More to come later, thanks to Sari who reminded me that I have a livejournal, and that I also have recently acquired a horse. Yay!

So I've been seeing this commercial lately for match.com. It's short, and it's just a woman riding a horse and talking about the kind of person she is and who she wants to meet. And it ends with her saying, "I'm just a goof, looking for my ball." And it may be immature, but that shit cracks me up. I, too, am looking for my ball, match.com! Just like you, I need to find the right ball! We are all just wandering around this crazy world, searching for our balls.

Hehehe.

Anyway. I'm making it a New Year's resolution to try to post more. I really hope it'll work out, because I like having this as an outlet for my histrionics. So here's to 2009 - may we all find our balls.

at this moment, I really love my life.

Hi! So I may or may not be sitting here eating a box of macaroni and cheese (yes, cooked) and drinking a bottle glass of Two Buck Chuck (as the kids are calling it these days). Good times.

Y'all, so I probably shouldn't have had a conniption. I was afraid that it would take me longer than a month to find a job and a place to live -- and I managed to find both within four days of moving up here. I'm sure that I used up all the good karma I had from working with abandoned puppies at the SPCA, but it was worth it. I feel secure.

I'm working with the AFM, the American Federation of Musicians. Basically we represent the musicians' union and whoever wants to use them to create music for anything has to go through us. We are the middle men. I work in the "video games, theme park, and internet" sector -- it's good times. I actually am really enjoying it -- I LOVE my boss, and the girls who sit near me are very fun as well. I like keeping busy, I like being efficient, and I'm interested in the work we're doing -- all in all, not bad. I'm very pleased with my work.

My living situation is interesting. I'm currently staying at the sublet that I.....sublet (can't think of another word, so that sentence is going to be awkward and that's just how it works) from a guy who's currently filming a movie in Texas until the 15th. There are two other guys who live here -- y'all, I LOVE THEM. We clicked immediately, and we so quickly became such good friends, it was unbelievable. I managed to find another place to live that's a great deal -- good building, interesting roommate, huge room and bathroom, great neighborhood, great location, amazing price -- and I am signing the lease over there because, of course, this place with these guys (Brian and Josh) is unavailable, but...wah. I want to live with them, permanently. And it's really flattering that they feel the same way. I love them way too much.

So that's where I am. Five days a week with the WFM and the weekends at the ranch. I don't live with my parents, I earn my own money and I'm finally living near friends. Life is suddenly pretty sweet.

Plus -- IDINA MENZEL AT THE WILTERN IN AUGUST I DON'T REMEMBER THE DATE BUT I'LL FIND OUT!!! I love her. Tickets still available...anyone? Interested? Am I going alone? Bueller?

Also, should I get these shoes? I'm thinking yes.

It's been ages since I've posted and I know why but I don't really want to go into it...does that sound harsh? I hope not.

Right now, I actually don't have very much time to post but I really, really need to. I'm going up to LA on Tuesday to sublet a place from the 17th of June (Tuesday) to the 15th of July, and that is the time frame that I have to find a job and a place to live.

As the date nears, I am beginning to have frequent and bad panic attacks. I am working myself up into a state of utter panic....what am I doing? That's not nearly long enough to find work, let alone both. I'm spending money to make a futile effort and really, just delay my move back to LA, and moving back means paying for so many things for myself that my parents have been paying for, and I don't know how I'm going to afford it, and I feel way in over my head. I start shaking and my throat closes up and my thoughts whirl and I start feeling like there's no way I can do this, there's no way, and what do I think I'm doing? It's too soon, it's to abrupt, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm rushing into something again without thinking and I've screwed myself over again. I am really, really flipping out, and no matter how much I can calm myself down, I just work myself right back up. It's not pleasant. Please someone say something nice.

It's strange living in the house in which you grew up. As much as you and your parents try not to let it happen, you will begin to regress into the parent/child relationship. This natural regression juxtaposes with that from which it regresses, namely, your independence and maturity. Your parents are just as conflicted -- inevitably they will both (1) treat you like a child and (2) treat you like an adult, at varying times and in different ways. You, in turn, will feel and act (a) like the teenager still living in that house, running up the stairs to your room and screaming down the hall, "I hate you! You'll never understand me!!" before slamming your bedroom door shut and (b) the adult daughter you've become since moving out, who has created a life for herself and been independent and somehow, even become good friends with her mother. The struggle between the two creates high levels of stress and confusion for everyone involved and there is bound to be some tension as everyone tries to adjust to an adult child who moves home. Even if the understanding is that the stay is temporary, there will inevitably be some friction.

~**~**~

My mom and I are fighting a lot and I feel bad about it. It's straining for both of us, my being here, and I'll be glad to be back in LA in summer. I think I'll be moving back to LA between 20 June -- 3 July. So I just have to survive until then. I hope my mom can too.


CBEST: taken
GRE: Monday
CSET: May 17


~**~**~

Other than that, I have something fun to look forward to! I'm going to the ZOO on Friday on a field trip with one of the second-grade classrooms I'm volunteering in. I'm totally psyched, not just because the zoo is awesome and I haven't been there since Idon'tknowwhen, but because the kids are going to love the it and I get to be there to share that. It should be a really special (and awesome!) day.

I should say, too, It has been incredibly rewarding these past few months, being able to work with these kids. They're hilarious and so earnest and sweet and so smart, and I love interacting with them, whether we're reading a story or having a science lesson or just being silly. I think I'd kind of like to be a teacher. :-) It should be a really special (and awesome!) day.

~**~**~

Wow, I'm boring.

What a nice summer's day it is today. We may have a barbecue tomorrow.

I appreciate the Southern California weather so much more now that I've lived in London. It does have its drawbacks: I LOVED experiencing actual seasons in London. I loved seeing the trees aflame with red and orange leaves during fall, feeling the air grow colder, waking up to ice on my window and crunching through freshly-formed frost every morning on my way to work in winter. But I must say, winter in San Diego is fabulous. You don't need an entirely different wardrobe; you can swim, camp, etc. year round; and the temperature cools off just enough to make every day perfect. I'm glad that I can now appreciate what I have, that I can feel happy when the weather is nice, instead of looking out the window, seeing a bright blue sky, and thinking, "God, it's hot outside AGAIN."

So, ahem. Hi. It has ben quite a time since I've written, I wouldnt' be surprised if everyone's deleted me from their friends-lists. Actually, they still might -- this is not going to be a long post, as it's already 12:30 at night and I have to wake up in five hours.

So! I am in San Diego. I have pretty much decided that I'm going to be a teacher and will be applying for teaching credentialing programs that begin in LA in the fall; i.e., I'm moving to LA in fall to become a teacher. In the meanwhile I live in San Diego (with my parents! It's weird!) and am spending my time volunteering at two elementary schools and working as a tutor. I'm also taking a class at Grossmont College as a requirement to be accented to the teaching credential programs. Oh! And I'm also taking the CBEST, the CSET: Multiple Subject, and the GRE within the next two months, so I'm studying really hard for those. And if i have any time left over, I try to get up to LA for the weekends, although I spend most of the time when I'm there working at the ranch. Girl needs some cash.

So! It's a pretty hectic schedule. And that's where I am at the moment. And now, I sleep.

I completely forgot to mention that I saw my favorite author speak! Her name is Alison Weir, and she writes historical non-fiction about the Medieval/Renaissance period in England. Her best known work is The Six Wives of Henry VIII, which I read in 10th grade and which convinced me that I want to study more and more about the Tudors -- and possibly study them in grad school, as well. She's also written about the children of Henry VIII, especially about Elizabeth, the Wars of the Roses (the book I'm reading now and the one I had her sign, after which I stammered "I...I love your work" before the blush in my cheeks took over, turned me tomato-red, and left me standing in a corner trying to overcome the enthusiasm I felt when Alison Weir looked me in the eye and said "thank you."!!!!!), Eleanor of Acquitaine, the Princes in the Tower, Mary Queen of Scots, and a ton more which I have yet to read. Oh, and apparently she also writes novels? Huzzah!!

Basically, I just really, really admire her work, her dedication to detailed and thorough research, her writing, and the fact that she so passionately has persued that which she loves. And? Bonus? She spoke at Hampton Court Palace! My favorite place in London, which was once owned by Cardinal Wolsey until Anne Boleyn manipulated him into giving it to Henry VIII. It's a very special place. Needless to say, it was a fabulous night.

I just went running for the first time in ages. For a while I was a member of a gym here in London, and then I let my membership expire while I went traveling and now I have only a week left here so of course I'm not going to re-join the gym. I was feeling a bit antsy tonight -- it had been while since I've done anything active, other than packing my shit and arranging pick-ups for the boxes I'm shipping and acquiring and filling out paperwork for my tax refund and all the other fun moving type stuff -- so I decided that despite the cold and the dodgy neighbourhood, I was going to run.

And I'm really, really glad I did. Granted, it wasn't a marathon or anything -- I ran down to Cricklewood and back, roughly fifteen minutes each way -- but I had my iPod with me and lovely English scenery to run through and the crisp, cold air on my cheeks to counteract the warming effect of the running, and by the time I got back my heart was beating faster and my hair was in disarray and all that that happens after you come back from a run, and I'm happy about it. The adreneline, happiness, epinephrin (sp?), whatever-you-call-it that's pumping through me right now is exactly why I work out (you know, in addition to the "it's healthy for me" thing), and I need to remember to do it more, not just when I'm antsy. It needs to be a part of my regular routine.

I keep going through phases, where I'll be really good about working out regularly for a few weeks and then it'll stop, for whatever reason, and it's just so hard to start up again. So I need to remember this feeling, and remember that the gain is so worth whatever "annoying" effort it takes to actually put my damn running shoes on, already, and take half an hour out of my day to go work up a sweat.

Eh. This is really just an attempt at self-motivation, then, and not really anything worth reading if you're not me. Oh well! Running! Woot! I'm off to take a shower now, because I hate going to sleep sweaty! G'night!

Let me begin this first with a disclaimer: The following does not affect my feelings toward London, Europe, or the British people. I love London. I still think this is the most magical city in the world. And I have learned so much, in so many capacities, while I've been here. I've made some friends that, I think, will become lifelong. I've had one-of-a-kind, life-changing experiences. It's been unforgettable, and I am sad that it is over.

That being said....I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED THAT I'LL BE HOME IN EIGHT DAYS!!!! I desperately hope that I'm not building it up too much, and I know that when I get there I will, inevitably, fall apart, because I don't handle sudden change very well. But at the moment -- I am just jumpy with excitement at the idea of going home, of seeing my friends, of driving my car, of having Christmas with my family ... of being in southern California again. I am so surprised by how enormous this emotion is, and at first I identified it as nerves ... but I've come to realize that I'm just deathly excited. I'm practically jumping for joy here. I want to make myself savour my last few days in London -- I'm going to Hyde Park one more time, Portobello Road, going out with my roommates, while intermittantly packing and then weeping over how expensive it is to get all my shit home -- but I will be home NEXT WEEKEND, and that is what keeps playing through my mind.

London, I love you. I love your architecture, your parks, your river. I love your weather, and your sayings, and your attitude. I love your history, your culture. I love that you've allowed me to see what it's like to be a Londoner, and I cannot wait to come back. But...a visit home is what I need.

God, I'm acting like such a LITTLE KID.

Seriously. Every single person that I miss paraded through my dreams last night, for the length of an excited scream (me), a big grin (them), and a hug, and then vanished, only to be replaced by someone else I hold dear.

I haven't been lonely -- I'm currently in Paris, and this is my first day alone, I've been sort of exploring alongside a few people I met in my hostel -- but my dream made me happy. I think I am ready to go home, at least for a little while. Being with Audrey last week in Florence reminded me of how good it is to spend time with the people who know you, who love you unconditionally, and who miss you when you're gone. I love London and I'm enjoying my time here, but I think I could use some reunion. I'll be home in December.

so I am in Marseille right now, hiding in my hotel. I hate that I have to do this, but honestly, I've had one of the most frustrating days that I've had in a while. On top of missing my flight yesterday because I was an idiot and went to the wrong airport, I paid for another ticket to Marseille this morning -- because the man at the desk said "it will cost you 15 pounds to transfer the ticket", so I said "ok" and gave him my credit card. Turns out that it was 15 pounds PLUS 90 pounds in taxes, which that asshole didn't bother to tell me about until he gave me the receipt for the non-refundable flight that I had just purchased. So, pissed off about that. Then, I wake up this morning with a pounding migraine, my suitcase broke on the way to the train station (the handle that pulls out and lets me roll it down the street? Now gets stuck in either the "up" position or the "down" position and you have to basically take all the stuff out of the suitcase to fumble around and press certain buttons to change it. I've opted to leave it in the "up" position, although when I take it on flights it will probably get broken), and I didn't have time to eat.

Once I got here, the city seemed absolutely lovely, and I was excited about exploring it ... until I asked someone directions and he decided that that was encouragement and followed me around the city all day. So, instead of exploring the city, I ate a sandwich as quickly as possible because I was starving and hightailed it back to my hotel, this random guy trailing the whole way. I mean, I've been followed before, but never so persistantly...I don't know how many times I said, "no, I'm not interested, I don't want to go home with you, because I am not interested, because I don't want to, au revoir,...no, no, no", but it didn't seem to have the slightest impression on him (and yes, I was saying it in French). He just kept saying, "yes, yes yes....you go home with me? you sleep with me? why not? why not? yes..." and he followed me up to my hotel door and tried to get in despite my being very firm and saying "NO" ("oui, oui"), and finally the hotelier saw what was going on and came and yelled at the guy in French, thank god. So now I am hiding. If I leave tomorrow morning and he's waiting there (A possibility, now that he knows where I am staying. I really didn't want him to know, but it was the only way I could escape him) I might hit him. It might be the only thing to get through to him.....although honestly, maybe not. In Barbados I slapped a guy across the face because he was following me and saying disgusting things and after I turned around and smacked him and said "do NOT talk to me", he asked for my phone number. That's kind of the problem of being a girl traveling alone in some of these countries.

So far this is a very frustrating trip, but I really hope it will clear up. Marseille seems lovely, and I am looking forward to exploring the seaside tomorrow. I AM excited to be here, despite the rocky start. And at least I will have a good night's sleep.

So I know I haven't posted pictures of London or Morocco yet, but I have a perfectly legitimate reason. My computer was so damn full that it wouldn't let me upload more photos; hey, it wouldn't even let me add bookmarks. I was having issues with buying an external hard drive and just recently got one that worked and was compatible with my Mac. So! All my pictures are there and I have some room on my computer again, praise Allah.

That being said, I'm still not going to be posting anything for a while. My job here has finished and I am frantically trying to get some travelling in before I fly home on 13 December. In one month. When I think about it I get sad and slightly panicky, so I won't be thinking about it until the last possible moment. I've just returned from a week in Italy, which was incredible. I spent a couple days in Rome and didn't get to see nearly everything, although I did see some amazing things, including several Michaelangelos (Sistine Chapel, Pieta, Moses), St. Peter's Basilica, the Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon....it was ... a dream come true. And then a few days in Florence, where Audrey took the train down to see me and we had a lovely time, including a leisurely lunch overlooking the Ponte Vecchio. Florence is a beautiful city. I saw the Palazzo Vecchio, and the Uffizi Gallery, and the David, and there is a fantastic museum for musical instruments there as well. The character of the city is so lovely...I'm going to start running out of adjectives.

And the food! Italian food really is as good as they say. And I am already starting to have gelato withdrawal. I don't know how many gelatos I had, but i do not regret a single one. My favorite was the melone flavour that I found on a little side street when I got lost in Rome. I tried risotto for the first time (and loved it), pasta with tartufo (truffle, a special fancy kind of mushroom, delicious), pasta alla carbonara....I've never eaten so well in my life. And the cappuccinos! And espressos! Honestly, I might have enjoyed the foods more than the sights.

Anyway, I'm leaving tomorrow for France, so no time to work on pictures when I need to do laundry and double check tickets and all that. But I am alive and having an amazing time touring Europe and I do not want to think about leaving London. That is all.